he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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