he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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