this beer tastes like vomit already
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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