WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
