I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
