he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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