Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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