I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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