Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
