Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
