are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
