Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
