That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth