it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.