Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.