If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
... don't judge me
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.