Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.