at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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