Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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