she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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