I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
