Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
