i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
