Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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