another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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