I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
