scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I need a beard to bite.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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