i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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