Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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