ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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