Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
