I wish I only lived at night.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
