I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
