I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
