I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
not ubering you a puppy
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
