how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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