Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
