Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Randomize
