plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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