New invention idea: vibrating tampons
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
