I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize