So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
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Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
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The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?