all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room