is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me