its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?