Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.

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  (407): Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis. http://tfl.nu/knfk
  Replies (14) Good night (4750) Bad night (646)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Why are handjobs necessary in class?

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  (651): Why are handjobs necessary in class? http://tfl.nu/p9nw
  Replies (28) Good night (2408) Bad night (685)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up

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  (816): I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up http://tfl.nu/d7fo
  Replies (25) Good night (752) Bad night (5511)
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  (760): View more from California

  Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?

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  (760): Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college? http://tfl.nu/r2e9
  Replies (36) Good night (3563) Bad night (3842)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.

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  (517): i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall. http://tfl.nu/lpwz
  Replies (14) Good night (4499) Bad night (755)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day

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  (917): Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day http://tfl.nu/w2yk
  Replies (29) Good night (4845) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.

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  (519): Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it. http://tfl.nu/0omt
  Replies (3) Good night (3921) Bad night (905)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.

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  (405): No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull. http://tfl.nu/uent
  Replies (16) Good night (4044) Bad night (1052)
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  (619): View more from California

  im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.

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  (619): im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull. http://tfl.nu/oak8
  Replies (9) Good night (4944) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.

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  (607): I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength. http://tfl.nu/np75
  Replies (6) Good night (2652) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.

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  (646): Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN. http://tfl.nu/7ja8
  Replies (4) Good night (1952) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.

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  (484): judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog. http://tfl.nu/kq70
  Replies (6) Good night (2138) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."

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  (918): When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being." http://tfl.nu/i99y
  Replies (7) Good night (713) Bad night (1110)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...

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  (860): on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed... http://tfl.nu/6d23
  Replies (4) Good night (1108) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him

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  (518): Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him http://tfl.nu/dlpo
  Replies (9) Good night (1318) Bad night (474)

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