Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms

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  (917): new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms http://tfl.nu/uasp
  Replies (12) Good night (1100) Bad night (2346)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.

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  (240): Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates. http://tfl.nu/bvcb
  Replies (17) Good night (3726) Bad night (733)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?

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  (305): considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it? http://tfl.nu/ijgp
  Replies (40) Good night (861) Bad night (9478)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?

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  (812): The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean? http://tfl.nu/84o9
  Replies (105) Good night (19106) Bad night (1729)
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  (661): View more from California

  this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.

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  (661): this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date. http://tfl.nu/1wwe
  Replies (51) Good night (7261) Bad night (1677)
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  (716): View more from New York

  strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them

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  (716): strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them http://tfl.nu/3anm
  Replies (10) Good night (3288) Bad night (1691)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...

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  (219): I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break... http://tfl.nu/y0v7
  Replies (22) Good night (3439) Bad night (1110)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.

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  (206): thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it. http://tfl.nu/8gdu
  Replies (2) Good night (2814) Bad night (745)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.

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  (316): You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath. http://tfl.nu/tem9
  Replies (2) Good night (1621) Bad night (785)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?

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  (+44): You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother? http://tfl.nu/wexu
  Replies (6) Good night (1207) Bad night (616)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?

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  (708): Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him? http://tfl.nu/nbty
  Replies (9) Good night (551) Bad night (1700)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.

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  (252): Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing. http://tfl.nu/p5zs
  Replies (3) Good night (1299) Bad night (554)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now

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  (954): I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now http://tfl.nu/o3a4
  Replies (8) Good night (1888) Bad night (578)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  Dude that's a hat trick!

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.

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  (616): Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs. (1-616): Dude that's a hat trick! (616): I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out. http://tfl.nu/g50u
  Replies (8) Good night (1568) Bad night (295)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.

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  (780): I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face. http://tfl.nu/4tu2
  Replies (3) Good night (773) Bad night (356)

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