Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.

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(516): Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America. http://tfl.nu/zzy7

Replies (11) Good night (7489) Bad night (641)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.

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(702): I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights. http://tfl.nu/kdxh

Replies (7) Good night (4053) Bad night (892)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.

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(205): I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab. http://tfl.nu/cf76

Replies (30) Good night (8029) Bad night (1148)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?

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(913): Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar? http://tfl.nu/6f8e

Replies (10) Good night (2444) Bad night (892)
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(772): View more from Florida

I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit

(1-772): View more from Florida

Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex

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(772): I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit (1-772): Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex http://tfl.nu/44ls

Replies (8) Good night (772) Bad night (1423)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?

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(321): What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire? http://tfl.nu/hf7l

Replies (14) Good night (1862) Bad night (758)
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(530): View more from California

I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.

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(530): I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone. http://tfl.nu/lhn9

Replies (5) Good night (1099) Bad night (624)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.

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(248): I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade. http://tfl.nu/28nt

Replies (0) Good night (729) Bad night (423)
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(818): View more from California

Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID

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(818): Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID http://tfl.nu/o6au

Replies (2) Good night (391) Bad night (748)
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(716): View more from New York

I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.

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(716): I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons. http://tfl.nu/ab56

Replies (2) Good night (731) Bad night (348)
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(415): View more from California

Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?

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(415): Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'? http://tfl.nu/ngfc

Replies (2) Good night (863) Bad night (372)
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(407): View more from Florida

you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.

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(407): you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest. http://tfl.nu/qs4v

Replies (10) Good night (1143) Bad night (604)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.

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(757): I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One. http://tfl.nu/azcx

Replies (0) Good night (1380) Bad night (362)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys

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(612): I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys http://tfl.nu/2gbb

Replies (4) Good night (796) Bad night (325)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes

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(414): Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes http://tfl.nu/vdpr

Replies (1) Good night (401) Bad night (223)

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