So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
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I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
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I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.