some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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