Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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