What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
