oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
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I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
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Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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