he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
