If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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