I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
