"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My penis needs a shock collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize