Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
