so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
