my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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