I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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