GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
