Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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