I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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