adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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