Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
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