Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
cat food counts as protein by the way
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
