Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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