Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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