So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
