Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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