I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
