I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
