question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
