She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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