3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
