My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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